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Creating A Garden of Love and Forgiveness

Image of a gardenThis space is dedicated to individuals and communities who wish to create a special place where nature is the background for reflection. It’s inspired by the Garden of Forgiveness in Beirut, Lebanon, featured in the film, The Power of Forgiveness and the Garden of Forgiveness initiative in New York City. According to the initiative, “Gardens of Forgiveness will be peaceful places for reflection where we acknowledge the hurts that can befall us as human beings, either as individuals or as communities, and then choose to make the world a better place by refusing to reciprocate violence for violence.”

Gardening can be an act of love and a healing endeavor. Creating a garden where love and forgiveness are the focus of reflection takes a lot of thought and planning. The payoff can be great.

Imagine having a place nearby that is peaceful and quiet where you can relax and spend time considering life's important questions. What impact might such reflection have on you and your relationships?dotted lines

Things to Think About When Creating Your Garden

Careful planning can help you create a garden that best reflects the factors that are important to you, and that maximizes the impact of your space. Better Homes and Gardens offers a useful, interactive online planning tool. While plantings are usually the core element of a garden, there are many other things to consider. These include:

What's Out There?
Take time to research gardens in your community. Visit local gardens on a tour, or contact your local garden club or horticultural society to find out about garden shows or community gardens of remembrance or reflection. Make notes about what appeals to you when you visit.

What Does It Cost?
Consider your overall budget, and be careful as you make your plans to allocate the budget to include all the elements that are important to you. Do you have experience with gardening? Will you create the garden yourself or enlist the help of friends or a professional? If cost is an issue, consider using a professional for help with design. You may then purchase and plant the garden yourself, in stages or as you can afford it. You may want to share cuttings with other gardeners you know.

Image of Buddhist gardenLocation, Location, Location
Where is your garden? How much sunlight does the space get? Where is the sun over the course of the day? How big is the space? What is the view from the space? Do you want to expand on the view or try to hide it? How much natural noise is there in your space? Do planes fly overhead? Is it located on a busy or quiet street? Is there a natural border to the garden, such as a fence or hedge, or do you need to create a border? What kind of border would you like to create? High hedges? Soft grasses? Trees? A stone wall? What shape is your garden? As you consider the shape, keep in mind the symbolism of particular shapes—a circle signifies continuity and new beginnings, a square or rectangle is grounded, solid and permanent, and a triangle symbolizes life and procreation.

Let It Flow
The presence of water enriches a garden on many levels. It symbolizes purification and regeneration, reflects light, makes peaceful sounds, feeds birds and fish and creates beauty. A small pond with lilies and fish or a fountain can also be a focal point for your garden.

A Place to Walk
Some people like to sit in stillness when they reflect; others prefer to walk around. Depending on the size of your space, consider whether you would like to include a maze, labyrinth, or pathways. These can be created with different materials—grasses, hedges, mulch, pebbles or stones, which also add texture to your garden.

Red flowerA Place to Sit
What kind of seating will you want—a bench, chair or grassy knoll? Will it be in the sun or shade? Most people prefer to sit in a shady spot, except on a cool fall or winter day. Is it possible to have seating in both a shady and sunny spot? What will you hear, smell, and see from the seating area?

The Birds and the Bees
Do you want to attract birds, butterflies and other wildlife? Do you want to deter deer or rabbits? Think about having a birdbath or bird feeder in the garden. Research plants that attract butterflies.

A Focal Point
Many of the world's finest gardens draw the eye to a focal point. It could be a sculpture, rock, topiary, gate, fountain, tree, or a mass of one type of flower. Consider whether you would like to have something that symbolizes love and forgiveness to you, such as a statue, abstract work of art, stone lantern or sign as a focal point in your garden. You could also place these items strategically at the end of a pathway or maze, or next to a seating area. You may also want to write words, such as "serenity", "peace", "love", and "forgiveness", on large stones. Some people like to install wind chimes as a focus and to provide pleasing sounds. You can find a large variety of items by looking at gardening magazines and books and searching on the Internet.

Image of Ganesh and lillies in a gardenKeeping Up
How much time and effort do you want to put into the maintenance of the garden? Ask yourself this question before designing the garden. You can minimize maintenance by opting for a garden that uses pebbles, stones, sculpture, a pond, and grasses rather than plantings that require more labor-intensive pruning, weeding, and other maintenance. For instance, consider perennials over annuals.

Seasonal Variety
Do you live in a climate that will allow your garden to be used year round? How can you build seasonal variety into your garden? Consider which plants bloom at which times of the year so that there is visual interest throughout the year.

What Kinds of Plants?
Your garden of love and forgiveness can contain a broad variety of plants with symbolic meaning. As you consider your overall plan for plants, think about having a variety of colors, shapes, scents, textures, and heights. Think about how the sunlight will impact the visual effect of the plants over the course of a day. Keep in mind which plants will grow in the particular zone where your garden is located. Your local garden club or horticultural society can be a useful resource if you have questions about your gardening zone. Better Homes and Gardens Web site offers the opportunity to type in your zip code and learn about your USDA hardiness zone. This site also allows you to search for plants by name, color, bloom time, and zone.

Image of Virgin Mary statue in a garden Plants with Symbolic Meanings
The following plants are a partial selection. You can find more details at: Flower Society.

Flowers
Baby's Breath: everlasting love
Chrysanthemums: long life, prosperity,   contemplation
Coneflower: life, conviviality
Forget-Me-Not: true love
Gardenia: transport of joy, ecstasy
Heather: solitude
Honeysuckle: generosity
Lily: purity, majesty
Orchid: perfection
Pansy: thoughtfulness
Peonies: love, marriage, fertility
Rose: love in all its forms
Sedum: tranquility
Sunflowers: sacred
Vines: regeneration
Water Lilies: purity, truth
Trees
Flowering Almond: hope
Bamboo: loyalty, steadfastness
Birch: grace
Bodhi Tree: enlightenment
Cedar: strength
Cherry: spring, youth
Dogwood: love undiminished by adversity, durability
Hawthorn: hope
Magnolias: beauty, gentleness
Peach: immortality
Lilac: first love
Yew: faith, rebirth
Herbs
Chamomile: energy in adversity, patience, wisdom
Chervil: sincerity
Dill: preservation, good spirits
Fennel: worthy of all praise, strength
Lavender: loyalty
Lemon Verbena: enchantment
Marjoram: joy, happiness
Mint: eternal refreshment, wisdom, virtue
Oregano: joy, happiness
Parsley: useful knowledge, feast, joy, victory
Rosemary: remembrance, love, loyalty, fidelity
Sage: wisdom, long life, esteem, immortality
Thyme: courage, strength
The Meaning of Colors
Blue: sky and water
Purple: royalty
Pink: love and emotion
Red and Orange: passion
White: purity
Yellow: sunshine, brightness and light

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Additional Resources

Image of two sets of hand plucking petals from a flowerONLINE MATERIAL
Garden of Forgiveness
The Garden of Forgiveness is an initiative of Sacred City, Inc., an educational nonprofit which seeks to teach about forgiveness as a strategy for both personal healing and wellness, as well as conflict transformation and peacemaking. Download "How to Make Your Own Garden of Forgiveness" which includes ideas, quotations from world scriptures, and information about a sculpture by Anne Mimi Sammis. You can also download the "How to Create a Garden of Forgiveness Kit."

The American Horticultural Society
You can find a wide range of connections to "great gardens around the world, gardening education for all levels of skill, sources of information on any garden subject imaginable, a community of gardeners eager to share their experiences, other great gardening events and activities, and much, much more" at this site. Membership is required to access some of the information.

Better Homes and Gardens
This Web site offers a broad range of resources for new and seasoned gardeners. Search for plants by name, color, bloom time, and zone. Type in your zip code to find out about your hardiness zone or use an interactive online planning tool.

Soul of the Garden
You will find beautiful garden images, quotes, and poems at Soul of the Garden. which explores the connection between the natural world, gardening, and spirituality.

BOOKS
Your public library is a source of many inspirational books, such as:

Gardens of the Spirit by Roni Jay
This book includes pictures and descriptions of different types of gardens including Zen, Healing, and Islamic.

Spiritual Gardening by Peg Streep
This beautifully illustrated book is a rich resource for ideas and inspiration and includes information and pictures of a broad range of gardens including tranquility, feng shui, aromatherapy, and labyrinth, as well as a chapter on gardening as a spiritual exercise.

Share your garden with us. Tell us about the experience of creating and using your garden of love and forgiveness. Image of white flower
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